Why I wrote this:
First of all, I am not talking about finding a man or a man finding you. A man is not your worth. That belief is exactly our problem. We got this ancient belief system programmed and running in our subconscious that if a man accepts us and marries us then we are worthy. Otherwise we are a piece of crap. I don’t agree with this belief. I don’t think I am crap with or without a man next to me. Men Aren’t Here to Validate a Woman’s Worth, and Vice Versa.
For me, no one validates my worth. Not my family, nor my friends. I’ve seen everything come and go, and I have existed regardless. In fact, I think if you seriously go looking for your worth, you will also come to the conclusion that you cannot be valued. Your job title, your income, your hair, your looks, your reputation, your ability to procreate, etc., nothing can value or devalue you. And maybe the value we truly create is beyond these variables.
When I went exploring into this, many many years ago, at first I looked at myself through the eyes of others. And yes, through others’ eyes, all the above factors could have helped put a price tag on me, but I decided to dig further. Because, even if the tag on me read “$0,” I would still be alive. For some reason, LIFE was still finding me valuable enough to keep me alive.
This is something I have been trying and testing out for years now and it has remained true. I did not think I could have survived this long, but I noticed that life keeps on making sure I do. It or something out there wants to keep me alive. It wants to keep you alive. It is keeping us alive until it says, “Meh! I think I’m done with this one.” I’ve spoken the truth when I arrived late to a job interview and still got the job. I have not competed with anyone for work in the last 7 years yet always got exactly what I was meant to get…exactly what I needed. I have not argued or defended myself to people. Yet, I found that things were always in my favour. I’ve faced some major fears and something keeps on coming along and watching my back. For all the people who are gonna take this out of context…I am not talking about walking in front of an oncoming bus and expecting it to not hit me. Will I survive? Who knows? All I know is that we never do walk alone. Especially when we choose honesty and trust life, especially then, the universe walks with us.
So, my conclusion was that this life that I am living, that you are living, that we are all living, is priceless. You can’t price something that’s priceless. It’s invaluable because it’s beyond value. Value is just a concept humans have created for bartering. It does not exist beyond that. While WE all DO exist beyond it.
Beyond the Anxious Mind 