Being Self-full

Walk the path the universe laid out for you. Stay focused. Stay humble. Stay determined. Trust your body. Trust your intuition. Trust your decisions. Trust your intelligence. Respect your own boundaries. Don’t lie to yourself or to anyone else.

These are all the things that I find very hard to do. Yet, everytime I do them, they set me back on track to being my best self to MYSELF.

Our relationship with ourselves is the foundation of all our relationships; how we treat ourselves is how we treat everyone and everything outside of ourselves. More importantly, how we treat ourselves is how we allow others to treat us.

So, the best way to shift our life’s projectile is to make the change at the core of “how” we are with ourselves. Everything else adjusts accordingly.

The Role of Fear in Yoga

You are being challenged by our environment to adapt. You are being asked to grow your sixth sense– your intuition. But, when you try to listen to your intuition, you notice that you are being bombarded with messages from an overly anxious friend– your mind.

Most of these messages are junk, repetitive cautions. So, how do you know what is just habitual mental noise and what is intuition? You have to start challenging the noise.

When you begin carefully examining your mental noise, you notice that most of the noise is just the mind’s way of protecting you from either real, potential, or least likely dangers.

The real and potential may be valid. It is the least likely that you must challenge. Because, as you challenge the least likely messages, they lose their power. The mind simply (albeit slowly) learns that these messages are pointless, so it stops producing them.

As with any case, when the noise lessens, the silence heightens. In that silence, you begin discerning intuition from mind. Hence, becoming silent enough to listen is key.

This is what we are doing in yoga through meditation. You are intuition, your mind is, well…the mind. As you practice watching the mind, you are separating yourself from the mind. How? By not responding to everything it says.

You are allowing the mind to speak, but you are not doing as it commands (unless it’s cautioning about real danger in the moment). Instead, you are just watching.

As soon as you do as it says, you become one again. The more you let it speak without reacting, the more you become aware of your separation from your mind. Your ability to act autonomously from the mind increases.

So far, you had done what the mind had said to do. Now, you are doing different from the mind’s command. You are separating the servant (yourself) from the old master (mind). You become aware of yourself as the new master and the mind as your servant.

What’s a Woman Like You Doing in a Man’s World?

I think all problems in this world originate from the woman and can be resolved by the woman. They originate from a woman when a woman creates/acts from a place of insecurity. The more she familiarizes herself with her security the less she will create from insecurity. 

The problem is that she is not familiar with her security and has been told that it is “something to be found outside of herself.” The truth is that a woman’s security already exists within her. Plus, the external security isn’t actually security but her insecurity; the more she secures herself with her external security the more insecure she becomes.

Do you ever see someone gaining external validation and becoming more confident? It’s always the other way around. They may appear more confident but they’ve actually become dependent on the external validation. It’s like a bottomless pit of lack— a lack of self-worth. What she actually has to do is disconnect from her external security and connect with her internal security.

Instead, what she tries to do is have one leg in one boat, the second leg in another boat, and each finger in different boats. She will put her faith in herself, but also in rituals, black magic, superstitions, stones, stories, gods, idols, fake gurus, astrologers, matchmakers, psychics, etc. She will run after power, sex, and money, trying to beat a man in his own game. She is the queen but she begins acting like a pauper. This confuses the man, who depends on a woman to show him the way, so he thinks that she is a prostitute to be exploited.

Instead of standing in her truth, she borrows from her “self-trust” fund and scatters it “just in case” the truth doesn’t work. While the truth is something she feels 100% within her bones. By dividing her trust, she indirectly gives herself this message: SHE cannot be trusted. She strengthens her doubt in herself. She wants to make herself more secure but she ends up making herself more insecure, more unstable. Now, if she can’t trust herself, who will?

In this way, she poisons her ability to speak the truth and endure the consequences. She doesn’t trust her ability to endure the consequences. As her trust in herself dwindles so does her self-confidence. The one who was meant to lead the way for others starts doubting herself. The compass starts asking the travelers for direction. 

This is how she weakens her ability to lead the world’s conscience. Then, with her divided, doubtful, insecure conscience she creates. What she creates, then, is a divided, doubtful, and insecure world. She creates chaos in her own life and in others. She begins manipulating and lying to get what she thinks she absolutely “can’t live without.” She becomes desperate to hide the ever gaping, self imagined hole within herself. This is when she will deny red-flags, relentlessly compete with other women, and stay in the shittiest of situations.

But, when a woman connects with her security within, it affects the entire human network, the collective conscience. She questions, learns, and moves forward without fear of what others will think. Her security is within so her equilibrium is within.

She no longer looks to please others by disowning her own gifts. She no longer looks for external insurance. She steps into her responsibility to lead with grace. She no longer doubts her life-support— the universe. She knows that she works for the universe and the universe works for her. The old world moves apart to make space for a new paradigm. That’s the purpose of a woman. That’s her power— within.

Only silence will remain where you once stood…

You’ve got this one life. You don’t know where you’ll go when it’s done. And when your voice is gone from this world, only silence will remain where you once stood. You can no longer hear what your heart wanted to say. Imagine you never heard your own voice. Imagine you never spoke up for yourself.

Isn’t it worth it to quiet all the other voices in your head so that you can hear your own? Isn’t it worth abandoning all your superficial goals to seek what your heart came to see?

When Your World Is Falling Apart Hold on to This

Many years ago, the book “Broken Open” by Elizabeth Lesser came into my life. As I was supporting myself and my loved ones through a very difficult time, the book became one of my life rafts. From what little I remember about the book now, I don’t think I had anything in common with the story. However, I would cling to each and every page of that book.

I was comforted by the fact that someone out there had it a lot worse than me. But, I’m not some evil person delighted over someone else’s suffering. I was comforted because Elizabeth shared her experiences and uncovered the deep wisdom within her trials. Each chapter assured me that I could get through whatever life threw at me and that there was a lesson hidden within each trial. It strengthened my faith in myself and gave me the motivation to continue to figure things out.

One of my favourite quotes in that book was, “We’re all bozos on the bus, so we might as well sit back and enjoy the ride,” by Wavy Gravy the clown-activist. The chapter dedicated to this quote couldn’t be more fitting for another situation than the one we are all in right now. I’ll leave you with an excerpt from this chapter that beautifully explains the deeper wisdom within this quote…and our situation today:

…I have co-opted the phrase (“We are all bozos on the bus, so we might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.” by Wavy Gravy) and I use it to begin my workshops, because I believe that we are all bozos on the bus, contrary to the self-assured image we work so hard to present to each other on a daily basis. 

…Every single person on this bus called Earth hurts; it’s when we have shame about our failings that hurt turns into suffering. In our shame, we feel an outcast, as if there is another bus somewhere, rolling along on a smooth road. Its passengers are all thin, healthy, happy, well-dressed and well-liked people who belong to harmonious families, hold jobs that never bore or aggravate them, and never do mean things, or goofy things like forget where they parked their car, lose their wallet, or say something totally inappropriate. We long to be on that bus with the other normal people.

But we are on the bus that says BOZO on the front, and we worry that we may be the only passenger on board. This is the illusion that so many of us labor under- that we’re all alone in our weirdness and our uncertainty; that we may be the most lost person on the highway. 

…It may be the first step to enlightenment to understand with all of your brain cells that the other bus – that sleek bus with the cool people who know where they are going – is also filled with bozos – bozos in drag; bozos with a secret. When we see clearly that every single human being, regardless of fame or fortune or age or brains or beauty, shares the same ordinary foibles, a strange thing happens. We begin to cheer up, to loosen up, and we become as buoyant as those people we imagined on the other bus. As we rumble along the potholed road, lost as ever, through the valleys and over the hills, we find ourselves among friends. We sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Excerpt from Broken Open